5 Lessons To Learn Before Marriage

Offering Marriage Advice
April and Jayme on her wedding day. Photo by @katemoorephoto

I cry at every wedding.

Whether it’s a happy client tying the knot, a dear friend who’s found their happy ever after or a family member. If I’m attending, it’s going to be waterworks, for sure.

Last month on a sandy beach on the Cape was no exception.

Our very own Jayme Hupfer, the woman who’s by my side every day at LEVEL, said, “I do”. I was there to witness this important step in her life.

Jayme is my right hand at LEVEL. She’s also like a family member. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m old enough to be her mother.

As she walked down the aisle, I could feel the tears starting to flow. I was so proud of her, the woman she’s become through the evolution of her personal and professional journey. She was in her twenties when we met. I’ve seen her go through all of the ups and downs that come with being single. The heartaches, disappointments, questions and difficult decisions.

Like it or not, working with me is going to involve a steady stream of advice. It’s impossible to avoid it since our daily routine at LEVEL is unpacking the why, helping our single clients discover who they are and what they need in a partner.

Along the way, Jayme’s been present for the successful relationships we’ve helped create and the transformative journey they took to achieve their goals. She is now someone I trust to lead client searches and offer them sage advice to dramatically improve their dating lives.

While looking at her gorgeous wedding photos this week, I asked her what were her five biggest lessons she’s learned from working with us. Since her responses reflect what so many people need to hear, I’m sharing them with you today. Let me know which one is your favorite tip!

5 Lessons to Learn Before Marriage

1. Stay open.

Meet and connect with people who may not be your typical type, or who don’t share your exact same perspective. Your world and community will open up.

2. Break-ups are painful but don’t dwell for long.

When a relationship ends, you’re creating space in your life for a better-suited-to-you person to walk in. Embrace the space. Take the lessons and grow instead of shrink.

3. Your friendships are a reflection of your core values.

Where and with whom you spend your free time, and even what you choose to post on social media is a mirror of what is most valuable to you. Choose wisely.

4. The right partner never makes you second guess.

Surely, we’ve all been with people who betrayed our trust or confidence but the “right” person, that one person you’re going to end up with, will never make you doubt their actions or question their motives. What’s even better: they don’t make you doubt yourself, either.

5. You know you’ve found “the one” when you’re at home.

Sure, we all want sparks and chemistry but when you pair this with a feeling of calm and peace, you know you’ve struck gold. I noticed this feeling in Jayme when she started dating her now, husband. All other relationships had her on edge, questioning herself or their motives. She just didn’t seem centered. When she met John, I remarked how calm she was. I knew right away she was on the right path and she had found her forever guy. (A recent Huffington Post article mirrors our sentiments here. Check out #1.)

What’s been the best advice you’ve been given about dating, love, and marriage? And, what is your #1 tip that you’ve gained from your own experiences? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have questions? We’ve got answers. Jayme and I will be on the blog this week chatting with you.

You’re so much closer to love than you think. Stay open, positive and selective where it counts the most.

April Beyer




Comments (2)


I couldn’t agree more!!!! This is exactly how I would describe my relationship to my fiancee, Charlie! He wasn’t at all what I thought I was looking for, but in very short time, #’s 3 -5 made it obvious he was my “person”.

I look forward to seeing you at the wedding!

Thank you Carla! Your wedding was so beautiful and joyous. I wish more women and men would be open to the experience of truly getting to know someone. Then, they could have the same happy ending! I’m over the moon excited for both of you and the wonderful journey you’ll be walking together.

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