Is What You Want Real & Attainable? Part 2: You Attract Who You Are Not What You Think You Deserve

via instagram @hungryinla

This month, we’ve been discussing the list you’ve created to describe your ideal woman. Is it this ideal real and tangible or superficial and getting in your way? If you missed Part 1 of the series, click here to read about how you should listen to your pet peeves, not dismiss them.

To continue this conversation, we have to start with a huge contributing factor to the rampant confusion and frustration you might be feeling. Dating apps.


Dating apps are like fast food. They’re designed to appeal to your hunger and thirst without providing any real nutritional value.  It’s no wonder why most singles are still left feeling empty despite the hours of consumption.

Apps also give a sense of entitlement because of the endless options to choose from. Why settle when you know you’re going to see more profiles after you swipe?

Dating apps are fast, cheap, and easy, but the woman you want is not.  She’s smart, intelligent, beautiful, deep, layered, and is worthy of your care and time.

It is the illusion of choice and transparency that’s hurting your chances at finding love. It’s not just men who have become extremely selective, women are now sitting back and adopting a more critical eye, a superficial dream list of the man they want. What does this mean to you? Everything. In the days before dating apps, women were more open about getting out and meeting new men. They weren’t as visual as they are now and the result is both sides looking at each other in a one dimensional, superficial way.



Two great questions to ask yourself:

  • “Who am I and what do I bring to my relationships?”

The answer to this cannot be your success, good looks, or how well traveled you are. A woman needs to benefit on a deeper level from your internal qualities. Remember, these days women are just as protective of their time as you are. A good self-assessment is in order if you truly want to find the woman you desire who’s also looking for someone just like you.

  • “Who is the woman who is looking for me?”

If you’ve been in a vicious cycle of meeting women who want you, but you don’t return the feeling, or finding yourself drawn to women who don’t respond to you, this needs to be a question you unpack for yourself. In essence, you have a marketing problem. The first thing we all know about business is product-market fit. Think of your dating life this way, and you’ll find your target demo.

Our LEVEL members go through the process of refining these questions. The magic of what we do isn’t about fulfilling a one-sided list of wants. It takes two to make a choice so it’s not just about your list that creates chemistry and lasting attraction between two people.


Is it wrong to want it all? Not at all, just get clear on “what having it all” means to you. And being patient until you find it. If you’re looking for perfection as a way of validating yourself, then you’re on a slippery slope. It’s also an indicator or your readiness.

The definition of settling is not giving up on meeting a woman you’re wildly attracted to. You’re only settling if you’re giving up on your values, principals, goals, and needs in order to be with the woman you’re wildly attracted to.

Women are not unfamiliar with the concept of men seeking the most attractive woman they can find. Men have always been visual, and believe it or not, every confident woman WANTS to be your type. They have a need to be desired, adored, and respected, but mutual attraction is a bigger factor than ever before. However, as I mentioned earlier, they’re becoming stronger in their own right and are more selective with their heart and their eyes.

How does this affect you? You’ve most likely noticed that women you’re meeting lately are less reliable, not as quick to respond to your request to connect, and slower in their response time. The best way to deal with this is to place your focus on the women who are responsive and pay closer attention to the women who are showing interest. Chasing women who are elusive is an exhausting job.


LEVEL helps to solve all of the issues I’ve mentioned here.  We qualify the women in our network and only send you introductions when your values/needs align so your dates will be meaningful. More importantly, every time you receive an introduction from us, she’s already excited to get to know you. This is how we shift the odds for you and take you out of the endless swiping game. We’ll be there to follow up with the women you meet after your dates so you always know where you stand.

If you’re not a LEVEL member yet, click here to connect with our team!

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