The woman you want is out there. But, is it possible to get everything you want and need?
You’ve met women who have the personality you click with but the attraction and passion were missing. There have been plenty of women you were wildly attracted to, but you couldn’t see a life with them let alone a second or third date. Don’t worry, you’re not alone.
Bridging the gap between what you want and truly need in a woman isn’t an easy task. You’re not about to settle, but you’re frustrated when you feel you’ve dated long enough and now you’re ready to take your personal life to the next level. It’s time to find one incredible woman and put your single days behind you.
The question you need to ask yourself is: “Am I being too picky or superficial?”
In this series of blog posts, I’m going to help you dive deeper to answer this question honestly so you can move forward dating productively.
I’ll start with what you notice first: your pet peeves. These are the little behavioral or physical irritations that start to add up and begin to erode your connection. Is it enough to leave a relationship or not bad enough to end it?
Your pet peeves matter. Don’t dismiss them.
Some of the most common annoyances or quirks that you just can’t seem to get past are directly tied to who you are at your core. Instead of pushing ahead with a new relationship because a woman has other qualities you like, you’ll need to start paying attention to what triggers you.
Pet Peeve Example #1 – Tardiness
If she’s awesome and gorgeous but chronically late or doesn’t respond to your messages for a couple of days, that’s more than an irritating quality. It’s about respect and if that’s important to you in a relationship, then it’s a deal breaker, not a pet peeve.
Pet Peeve Example #2 – Debauchery & Neglect
If a woman you’re dating occasionally drinks too much with the gals and gets a bit too loud/obnoxious in public, that’s not something you want to overlook. You might be a man who is watchful of his reputation and it’s important that you’re held in high esteem in your community. You’re not just with a girl who overdoes it from time to time, you’re dating someone who isn’t a trustworthy and mature partner. If she doesn’t put you first and you’re constantly left feeling like you’re doing all the heavy lifting, it doesn’t matter how gorgeous she is. If she’s not participating, it’s game over. Learn to walk away.
The Bottom Line on Behavior
Anytime you see a behavioral pattern that is repetitive and causes pause or discussion with your friends, there’s a reason. Ignoring these feelings leads to compromise on a bigger level. Always best to unpack it and ask yourself WHY a particular behavior gets under your skin.
Pet Peeve Example #3 – Looks
There can also be a small physical mannerism or feature that causes you to question whether or not you can continue to date a woman. It could be her height, weight, the way she laughs, dresses, cares for her hair/nails and so much more. Why can’t you get past this if she’s truly aligned with your values and you have an amazing time together?
The Bottom Line on Looks
Before you judge yourself or toss out a relationship too quickly, take stock. What is this feeling doing to your attraction level? Does it hold you back and make you less loving or attentive? If that’s the case, it’s deeper than just physical.
Most likely, these superficial elements are showing up because there are key factors missing in the relationship. You’re not doing a woman any favors by pushing yourself to be attracted. All women crave being deeply desired. It just doesn’t work any other way.
At the end of the day, you want and need to be attracted to a woman if you’re going to have a solid and lasting relationship.
What Your Pet Peeves Say About You
If you’ve found yourself constantly finding fault in others, and it’s keeping you on the single bench for too long, it’s also time to ask yourself if you’re truly ready to commit. An indicator of relationship readiness is your willingness to overlook the small things and focus on what is most important to your longevity, health, joy, and happiness.
The Happy Ending
Yes, you can have it all, but only you know what you really need. Never sacrifice your needs to get your wants. Ask for your needs first and the rest will follow.