Women are expressive creatures. They love to chat with friends and family about the men they date.
But to what extent?
THE NITTY GRITTY DETAILS
Women tell their friends just about every detail you can imagine.
Yes, women are much more expressive and descriptive about their love lives than you are. From the way you kiss, the quality of your sex life together, how you treat her, the dates you plan (or forget to plan), and the sweet nothings you whisper in her ear.
Idle gossip with the girls? Not really. Women are collaborative by nature and sharing their excitement about a guy or their last disaster date is how they seek advice, support and ultimately, how they bond.
The most common topic women share is how you court them in the beginning. Your readiness, class, and maturity are being gauged by the attention and effort you put into your first few dates. Right or wrong, it’s just how women are.
Your first dates set the tone and either turn her on or off. There’s plenty of time to ask a woman out for a casual and spontaneous date once you’ve created a connection and foundation. She might love to hike but I don’t recommend it for a first date. Women want to look nice for you. They want to feel feminine and put their best foot forward and that’s usually in a sexy shoe that gets your attention. Think in terms of the first three dates. After this, see how quickly she starts participating and making plans with you instead of just relying on you to do all the heavy lifting.
For women, it’s not just the act of sex, but rather the intimacy, passion, and feeling of closeness that’s memorable. What makes a man a great lover is all in the connection, not the skill level. When women miss their past relationships, it’s not the sex they’re necessarily longing for but rather the close and intimate moments. So, if she’s talking about your sex life with friends, it’s rarely a score she’s giving you. It’s the feeling you give her and whether or not you make her feel alive, beautiful, sexy and cared for.
Friends and family are always a topic of discussion. I’m sure you’d agree that once you connect with a woman on a real level, you’re curious to see the quality of the people around her. Your friends are a direct reflection of your character and even relationship readiness. If most of your friends are in relationships or married, it gives the appearance that you too, might be looking for something more serious. On the same hand, if all of your friends are in the single, party mode, it might give a woman pause. She’s also paying attention to whether or not you’ve formed long-lasting connections with quality friends and how important they are in your life.
How you show up is always discussed. Did you dress to impress or look like you just rolled out of bed? (Remember, a woman has likely spent an hour or two getting ready for your date.) Did you walk into the room with a sense of command and ease?
Some men are great at this and always look great. Our LEVEL members are stylish, successful men who know how to pull it all together for a date. However, if you’ve spent enough time on your dating app, you’re already familiar with the disappointment that comes with it. I know that a lot of women don’t represent themselves accurately in photos. It’s frustrating to get to the date and learn she looks nothing like her photos. Be careful not to check out on your style. Stay consistent. The next woman you meet could be the woman you really want to impress.
The biggest complaint we get during our post-date feedback is the lack of meaningful questions. Very few people really know how to ask questions without sounding like they’re interviewing or qualifying. The solution? If your questions come from curiosity and care rather than judgment, everything you ask will be well received.
Don’t hold back. If you feel like asking a question, go for it. Women love to be asked about their work, family life, friends and passions. You don’t have to cover all the topics. Simply observe, ask and listen. Yes, dates can be really fun and meaningful at the same time. Be curious and listen. Yes, even if you don’t think you’re going to see her again.
Good or bad, word travels fast. Make it your mission to be your best self on every date no matter if you have chemistry or not. Your reputation matters and good guys with great manners, style, depth, and kindness are in high demand. If you read advice that tells you otherwise, consider the source and delete. Beautiful, intelligent, confident and self-aware women want to connect with you and are longing to meet men who are willing to put their best foot forward on every level.
April Beyer CEO & Founder LEVEL Connections