You’re probably discovering a lot of things you don’t really need anymore. Much like we’re reprioritizing our financial spending, now that we’re practicing “safer at home”, our relationship priorities have shifted to the more fundamental, core needs. We have ourselves a new dating economy.
Until recently, we were distracted by the more superficial or less tangible things that brought us temporary or material happiness – spa days, shopping splurges, that new ______ that everyone is wearing these days.
But, whether it was conscious or not, you’ve started to prioritize your life differently. You’re starting to see the value in focusing on only what truly matters to you. It feels good to know what you can do without. In many ways, it’s exhilarating and liberating. A new sense of freedom combined with a more meaningful life.
Your choices in men need this same shift.
In this new dating economy, your needs in a partner are going to feel more important that your wants. The same is true for men. Now that in person dates are on hold, the entire single community is taking stock. If phone, Zoom and FaceTime dates are taking the place of restaurant dates, then it’s not as easy to date multiple people at once. It’s just too hard to emotionally invest in that many conversations each week.
Going forward, men and women will be building relationships through trust, meaningful conversations, a sense of safety and comfort. And by the way, you can still have your wants, just not at the expense of your needs.
So, how do you determine which is which?
Needs vs. Wants
Your needs are based on your core values and how you want to be treated in a relationship. They’re rooted in a shared vision of the future and how you both want to live your best lives.
Your wants are more superficial. Sure, they’d be nice to have but if this pandemic has shown us anything, it’s that we need and crave true partnership. There’s nothing like a global crisis to get you thinking and seeing clearly.
Start thinking about how you can be more concise with your wish list. Write down all the traits you’ve been seeking in a partner and next to each trait, ask yourself: “Do I want it or need it?”
Like a spring cleaning of your closet, toss the old ideas and welcome a fresh perspective to help you grow and achieve your dreams.
To your future!
April Beyer
CEO & Founder
LEVEL Connections
I think you got my prior comment but not sure it actually sent so forgive the repeat if that’s the case:
Synchronicity! I was just thinking that I should be in touch to let you know if my shifted priorities, and here you are in my inbox;)!
I’ve used this time to look inward and reprioritize and have realized that, most important to me is “relationship and community”. That very much includes the relationship I have with myself, and as importantly, that special one that I kNow I can have with one special person.
In December, I soft launched a business devoted to community building which was off to a great start. With covid-19, I then added an online component. All very good… but I’m now certain that my wants AND needs have become more centered on building a genuine, meaningful and “playfully serious” romantic relationship with someone while we continue to grow as an individuals and a couple.
Most important is that the past 5 months brought clarity to the reality that the demands of my business would ultimately thwart my innermost priorities. So 2 weeks ago, I made the decision to step back on the business front. Fortunately due to my own career and my divorce proceedings, I’m in a financial position that allows me to do that.
There’s a quote I love which has guided me not only in creating living environments but in guiding my choices on all levels: “We shape our dwellings, and afterwards, our dwellings shape us.” So I’ve now reshaped my activities and mindset to align with my reshaped priorities and wanted to share this with you.
Your e-mail is very timely, not just for me but for others. Many thanks for being in touch!
Christine