Not Your Mother’s Dating Rules.

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Your mother’s list of charming advice is still relevant, but we need to add on to it.  Texting, chasing, photos, social media, ghosting, timeline agendas all come into play now.  How do you handle them like an adult and get the result you want instead of the frustration you dread.

  • Respond.

When you don’t know what to do, respond anyway. No “ghosting” or waiting.  If someone reaches out to you, respond with your honest feelings.  You will never be faulted for being forthright.

  • Don’t ask for more photos before the date.

Dating apps have brought the focus back to appearance, unfortunately. But, if you’re relationship-minded and truly ready to date someone on your LEVEL, looks are not the most important thing.  Meeting someone in person you’ll learn not only about their values but also how they make you feel.  Chemistry is created by the physical AND emotional.

  • Connect the day before the date.

Men, you should let a woman know the time and type of place(s) you are taking her so she can plan her day and dress accordingly.  Women have a tendency to worry about these things and you don’t want to start your date off with any extra feelings of anxiety.

  • Always be on time.

Punctuality is a sign of respect.  Period.

  •  Be inquisitive, not interrogative.

Your first dates are not about checking boxes and making sure the other person fits into your life agenda.  Your goal is to see if you two have chemistry.  To do this, ask questions that excite the other person and make them feel good.  Listen to their responses and continue down that line of questions if you see their eyes light up and energy rise. People have a hard time remembering details, but they will never forget the way you made them feel.

  •  Let the “I don’t know” or no response be your answer.

One of the hardest parts of dating is the let down of not getting a response.  If you don’t hear from someone, you have your answer: No.  Don’t chase, there’s no point.  The best thing you can do to show them what they’re missing is to move on with your life.

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