How to Free Yourself From Shopping For Love.

Image via @dawn_photo

Have you ever wondered why shopping for the perfect gift for someone can create a huge amount of stress? Even when you have a few ideas to start with it seems the more you look, the harder it is to find. Each time you go into a store, the pressure builds. You start to feel like you’re failing the person you’re shopping for and the dread of showing up empty handed or with a meaningless gift is simply not an option.

Take this same feeling and replace your dating life with the search for a gift. Have you found yourself always falling short and feeling like you were settling if someone wasn’t your “perfect” image of what you thought you wanted and deserved?

Everyone has a list of what they want in a partner. It’s natural. However, your list might be too rigid and keeping you from experiencing new people, places and things.


Don’t worry, opening your mind and tossing your list doesn’t take away from the right person walking into your life. It’s quite the opposite. Your open mind will be ready for more opportunities and you’ll make better choices for your life. A stagnant list of qualities or superficial traits creates an image that you’re picky, not selective. It also creates a wall between you and others because you’re so mission driven and difficult to reach or get to know.

In my twenty years of creating marriages and relationships, most of my happy couples would tell you they ended up with someone unexpected and the resulting relationship was better than what they had imagined. Our goal at LEVEL is to pull your values to the forefront, cross-reference them with your list, and introduce you to someone who has potential for something real and lasting in your life. We can only accomplish this when you open your mind and disregard your list that has yet to serve you.


A partner is a gift I wish for you. Whether you find someone special through LEVEL or you learn to make smarter and more thoughtful choices on your own, get your eye off the target of finding love. Although it may seem counterintuitive, releasing your grip of expectations helps you relax and be present. When you’re relaxed, you’re at your best and that’s when people will be most attracted to you.

Love does indeed happen when you least expect it but it also happens when you’re fully prepared and ready to receive it. Practice the art of letting go and trusting that the partner who is meant for you will come into view when the timing is right. In the meantime, enjoy your life as it is right now. Every date, encounter and relationship has meaning and value. Say yes to dates without checking your list twice. Soon, you’ll be out of the shopping mentality and be pleasantly surprised what gifts are in store for you.

Warmest Wishes to you and your loved ones!

April Beyer

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