It’s not uncommon for a man to believe his perfect age difference is down ten to twenty years below his own age. The belief (although a false one) means more time to travel before marriage, less pressure to start a family or meeting a woman who hasn’t had a lot of dating and relationship experience therefore “less beaten down by life and men in general.” Tough to hear, I know. But, these are just a few of the reasons men give for wanting to date a younger woman. It goes beyond youthful beauty.
While the desire for a younger woman is strong, a man looking for a significant relationship requires the same readiness and emotional maturity of a woman closer to his age. Not an easy ask and definitely not a woman who is easily found. Women still need time to mature and grow. A well- traveled woman with a solid education from a top school, a high paying job or a nice family background are certainly nice traits but they simply don’t make a woman more capable of being in a real relationship. Maturity comes with time and experience, there’s just no other way around it.
Strict age parameters are the biggest reasons why women and men lie on their dating profiles about their real age. It’s never anyone’s intention to mislead but rather a survival instinct born from fear and scarcity.
“If I put my real age, I might miss out on the perfect partner.”
The person who is perfect for you actually wants you, your age, look, personality, quirks, background, life experiences and everything else that’s part of you.
Fear of missing out should never be a driver for your dating life. So if being truthful means less opportunity, than so be it. You can’t please everyone and you’re not a product on a shelf. Stop acting like you’ve got to appeal to the masses in order to find one person.
Times have changed and women are catching up.
It used to be men who focused on dating younger. In previous generations, dating an older man signaled safety and security. This gave men a larger pool of women to choose from and left women with a smaller pool of available men. Now, women have begun to tighten their age parameters as well. With the popularity of dating apps and false illusion of endless opportunities, women are now making fewer choices in order to be economical with their valuable time. We’ve seen a trend in recent years of women who once were open to men ten-twenty years older who are now looking to meet men within five to ten years of their age. Smart, successful and independent women who have the ability to travel and design their destiny are no longer looking for the same security that once only men could provide.
But, it’s really the superficial and one dimensional dating app world that’s turned selective people into picky people and it doesn’t matter if you’re a woman or a man.
It’s time to adopt new behaviors and create a fresh perspective about how you look at age. This isn’t your mother’s dating world so new rules are needed.
Your “ideal age range” is a preconceived notion in your brain with little to do with reality or what actually might be healthy, appropriate or meant for you.
Keep an open mind, say yes to opportunities, get out of your head and out into the world meeting new and interesting people.