Believe it or not, men are pretty easy to understand and know. I’ve worked with marriage-minded, successful men for twenty years. They’ve all been unique with different backgrounds, needs, desires, and lifestyle goals, but there’s a common thread that runs through all of these exceptional bachelors looking for love. And I’ve compiled a list of 5 things you need to know about men to help you lead a happy, healthy dating life!
Unfortunately, there’s a lot of misinformation online that’s being consumed by women everywhere who are desperately looking for clarity. I like to call it, “dating fog”. You know you’re going to get through it, but it’s hard to see your way around the sharp curves and endless highways.
Breathe easier, my friend. Women are far more mysterious than men are so let’s clear the decks and get you focused on the right path. Knowledge is power and clarity is King (ermm.. Queen :))
5 Things You Need To Know About Men
1. Men Don’t Think Sarcasm is Sexy
Consider this scenario: You’re out a bar with friends and the witty banter is flying with a group of men you’ve just met. You’re hitting it off with one guy in particular while you playfully tease and “call him out.” You think it’s going great. He’s laughing, you’re laughing. Unfortunately, this kind of joking causes unease and makes him retreat. If you’re not aware, you could be missing the signals. He might be laughing but it doesn’t mean you’re connecting in a real and memorable way. If the jokes are at his expense, it’s a turn-off.
A lot of women fall into this trap because we see how men are able to tease one another. If you work in a boy’s club environment, you see this every day at the office. Don’t adopt the same behavior. Leave that to the guys. Whether you’ve known a man for 20 minutes or 20 years, he won’t feel confident and accepted if you’re sarcastic with your tone or teasing. The better he feels about himself in your presence, the more he’ll want to stay there.
Men love playful and funny women. In fact, it’s a top requested trait on every guy’s wish list. It shows a woman has a quick mind and a carefree, easygoing manner. Just know the difference between fun and funny versus what’s essentially making someone feel less than wonderful. An insult is an insult, even if it’s wrapped in a joke.
2. Men Describe You With Adjectives
We might think we’re more romantic and heart-centered than men, but when it comes to post-date feedback, women tend to be more critical about men and want to unpack the smallest of details. While you’re busy describing the date location, what was discussed and revealed, what you learned about his character and so on, he’s sharing how you made him feel and the qualities he noticed about you. Men are simple and to the point with their feedback. In other words, they may not recall specific details of the conversation but they’ll remember how you made them feel.
They use words like warm, sweet, bright, real, beautiful, feminine, caring, present, confident or lovely. If they aren’t interested, they’re not picking you apart as you might think. They simply report back that chemistry was missing.
News flash: Men have become more soulful than ever before. They’re getting in touch with themselves in a deeper way, seeking out personal growth opportunities and ways to be more expressive. Connect with a man through his heart and you’ll be the unforgettable woman.
3. Men Don’t Do a Self-Assessment Before Asking You Out
Men don’t judge their looks or worthiness when approaching you on or offline. They only see an attractive and appealing woman they’d like to meet.
If a man asks you out that you’re not remotely attracted to, it’s not a reflection of your value or a statement of your own beauty. Therefore, no need to be insulted or frustrated.
It’s not easy to approach women. Some of the most confident and successful men I know don’t always feel comfortable walking up to you and asking you out. Be the woman who’s always kind and gracious regardless of your interest level. Remember, it’s a gift and compliment to be approached.
4. Men Fall In Love Faster Than Women
I know, we all think we love faster (and better) than men, but we actually don’t. We tend to talk about it more, sure. But, we feel it in our head first and then it moves to our heart. It makes perfect sense. A woman’s job is to be logical and safe about her choices. Our futures depend on it.
In all of my years of matching couples, I’ve witnessed men verbalizing their love and intentions about a particular woman long before she was ready. When a man meets the woman he’s going to marry he decides quickly and gives his heart without hesitation.
If you’ve been with a man for a period of time and words of love and devotion are not being expressed, you’re in the wrong relationship. He’s either in fear or the love just isn’t there. Either way, it’s a losing proposition. Letting go is the strongest and healthiest thing you can do for yourself.
5. Men Long For You To Be Vulnerable
Vulnerability gets a bad rap. To some, it provokes a feeling of dread, of being exposed to judgment, pain or heartbreak. You might have past relationship experiences that have caused you to build walls around your heart and with this, you vowed to never allow yourself to be vulnerable again.
Here’s the problem with this plan. It’s not your vulnerability that got you into trouble, it was the choice in the person that you shared so much of yourself with. If you take all of that beautiful transparency and honesty out of the picture, you’ll end up attracting the wrong men and inadvertently sending the good guys away.
Emotional transparency is about sharing your joy, true feelings and how willing you are to be brave and direct. Talking about how someone hurt you in the past and why you’re scared of getting into a relationship is fear, not honesty. “I’m afraid of getting hurt because my ex was a jerk” is different from “I really like you and I’m learning to trust my instincts so I can find a loving relationship.”
There’s so much more to know!
Wishing you new beginnings and lasting relationships,
Need more guidance on how to get ready and level up for your next romance? Book a dating strategy session with me. Hello@levelconnections.com