Whether you’ve been single for what seems like an eternity, dating random people that you have no connection with, or have been in the wrong relationship for too long, now is the time to make some updates and changes to your dating life. No more waiting around and simply hoping things will get better.
8 WAYS TO TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR DATING LIFE
- Throw away your lists.
This is a cornerstone of my teaching and matching. Your “Mr./Mrs. Right” list of qualities is blinding you from seeing potential partners who have what you NEED them to be. Isn’t someone who respects you and makes you laugh more important than a full head of hair?
- Focus on your values.
What are your values and how should his align with yours. LEVEL is based on values for a reason, they work to spark chemistry and bind a relationship. Looks fade, values endure.
- Ask yourself this question.
“How do I want to feel when I am with someone?” This is a question I ask of all of my clients. It’s a simple and effective way to keep you on track for what and who you’re looking for. If the person you’re with doesn’t fit your answer, stop wasting your time and move on.
- Trust your instincts.
No more excuses as to why someone is not calling or treating you very well. Stop trying to rationalize everyone else’s actions. Keep moving if someone new in your life isn’t treating you with respect. If you’re waiting around for things to get better, you’re only encouraging bad behavior. No man has ever fallen for a woman that he could walk all over.
- Understand your behavior.
Are you attracting people or pushing them away? Are you the girl that never gets the 1st date let alone the 2nd? There are probably things that you are doing, saying or even expressing unconsciously that are sending all the wrong signals.
- Forgive.
Forgive the people from your past. Parents, siblings, co-workers, friends, past relationships…anyone who has caused you pain and grief: let it go! It will never serve you to hold on to old feelings that are weighing you down. Also forgive yourself. No one is perfect and life is about learning and growing.
- Leave the past behind.
Don’t make the fatal mistake of talking about your ex’s on your dates. Even if you are asked. Yesterday does NOT equal today. Just because you made some lousy choices in partners last year, doesn’t mean this year will be the same.
- Sharpen your image.
When your routine and habits get old and dated, you need to evolve with the ever changing times. If you feel that last year was not your best in terms of dating, look back and ask why. What are you presenting to the opposite sex? Do you see yourself as others do? If you gained some weight during the year from bad habits, then find a way to lose it. Again, this is about how YOU feel. If you don’t love the way you look and feel, trust me, no one else will either.
A lot of what I do in my private coaching sessions is taking all of these questions and leading my clients to a place of specificity.
In short, it’s time to update everything. Your look, your outlook on life, your idea of yourself and your idea of the person you think you should meet. So many new opportunities out there!
If you’re looking for inspiration, follow us on Instagram or Facebook @dateonyourlevel. When you’re READY for a relationship, we are ready for your male or female application at LEVEL.
Thank you April for this article . I really love the part you talked about forgiveness because it applies to me. From this moment, I make a commitment to forgive those who have hurt me especially my past relationships and some of my colleagues. I’m letting go of blaming myself for my past mistakes and I’m starting a new phase of my life with an open and positive mindset about life, relationships and the future .
You’re welcome Helen. Thanks for sharing your commitment. Putting your dedication out in the world is a strong start!
Love this permission slip! “Throw away your lists.” Thank you for being different then the rest of the matchmakers out there
Thanks Jeff!