We’re here! We’re heading into the New Year and this is the perfect time to update and hit the reset button to kickstart 2021 in a positive way. I know this year has been challenging on so many levels and your love life has definitely been impacted either directly or indirectly by everything that’s happened. If last year didn’t bring you the romance you’re craving, it’s OK! And I want you to know that even in the face of 2020’s obstacles, (and the unknown of 2021), you have the power to make a massive shift. With my experience as a relationship expert and in matchmaking services, I encourage you to take some time to answer my 10 reflection questions for relationship readiness below.
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Don’t worry. This isn’t goal setting and no, it doesn’t require you to do any heavy lifting. You’re already a busy woman so I don’t want to add anything else to your plate. But, you do need to be ready to get honest, practical and thoughtful if you want to really launch into this year with purpose and intention. ⠀⠀
Ready? Ok. Grab your favorite journal, find a quiet spot, get cozy, pour some tea (or wine) and settle in to answer my 10 reflection questions for relationship readiness. It’s important that you write your answers down instead of just reading this. There are no right or wrong answers so no judging yourself. Once you have your responses, share your thoughts with me below or ask me any questions. I’ll be here to provide clarity, insight and cheer you on.
10 Reflection Questions for Relationship Readiness
1. What are your best traits in a relationship?
(Hint: The man in your life must benefit from these traits.)
2. Do you allow people to see who you really are right away or do you wait until there’s trust?
(If you’re pausing here. It’s time to get to work. If you wait to show the real you until there’s trust, you’ll attract the wrong person every time.)
3. What are some of the challenges of being in a relationship with you?
We all have our flaws. It’s what makes us human. (If you’re stuck, think back on your last 3 significant relationships. What would they say if asked this question about you? It’s important to know so you can attract the person who will support you instead of tearing you down. It’s also going to tell you what you need to work on.)
4. How do you show and receive love?
(Go beyond The Love Languages. It’s not enough to know what your love language is, it’s more important to know WHY it’s your language. Contrary to popular belief, it’s nearly impossible to get someone to love you in the way you want unless they’re already experienced at doing it for someone else. It’s a much easier road to begin with a man who’s already adept at giving and receiving love in a way that’s compatible with you.)
5. What are your top 3 core values that guide your life?
Have the men in your life refected these values?
6. Are you carrying any anger or sadness from your previous relationship?
(If so, choose to heal today. You can’t build anything new on a shaky foundation. Start fresh. Your future is waiting for you. Don’t get stuck in the past.)
7. Do you express yourself openly and honestly with the men you meet?
(In other words, is it easy to know your heart quickly or do people have to guess how you’re feeling?)
8. How confident do you feel right now about yourself?
(Be honest. We all have bad days. I’m talking about your overall confidence no matter what comes your way.)
9. Do you place more importance on your needs or your wants?
(Superficial requests yield superficial results. Every time.)
10. Have you created emotional and physical space for someone in your life?
In other words, are you able to be vulnerable and trusting and do you actually have time for a significant relationship?
Like anything in life that’s worthwhile, preparation has been the key to your success. Don’t stop at your career and education. Take this valuable time to prepare before your next relationship and you’ll avoid much of the chaos, frustration, pain, disappointment that so many women experience who don’t prioritize self-knowledge. Men will come and go in your life, but you will remain. You’re the most important person in this journey called life.
Dig in, investigate, learn, grow, allow yourself to try different things on, feel your edges, ask for what you need.
Above all. Be BRAVE. Love can’t exist without your courage.
I want to hear from you in the comments. Did these questions help to give you clarity? What answers surprised you the most? How did you rate yourself?
PS. Ready to find your ideal partner this year? We’re currently accepting applications in the Southern and Northern California areas for our LEVEL private community. If you’ve started an account but didn’t finish, you can log in and pick up where you left off: Login Here
“In my 25 years of experience working with single men and women, I’ve found successful relationships are built on a solid foundation of self-knowledge, clarity, and confidence. With my private relationship coaching, you can embark on a transformative journey that will lead you to a deeper understanding of your core values and align you for successfully developing a truly fulfilling relationship that can last a lifetime.”
– April Beyer, Founder & CEO of LevelConnections.com
Allowing someone to see who I am right away?? That’s my Biggest challenge :). I tend to wait till I feel safe. Very interesting that this tendency on my part will attract wrong man. Never thought about it that way. Thank you. Xxo
Yes! Our mask or protective layers will always attract the wrong person because you’re not showing your true self. It’s the only way to ensure the attention you receive is for the right reasons. 🙂
Thank you so much for this thought-provoking and clarifying questionnaire. It prompted me to really drill down and think. I especially enjoyed reflecting on why quality time is the most important love language for me — I see quality time as the place where you start in order to develop fluency in the other languages of love as well. Biggest challenge: while I am friendly and outgoing, I think I am probably inclined to wait for trust to develop before I really let anyone know me. Something for me to think about further!
Hi Laura!
I’m so happy to know you found so much value with the questionnaire. Waiting for trust is a big topic and one that a lot of women struggle with. For now, just be aware of it and take small steps to being more open. Remember, a person knowing who you are, what you feel and how you think does NOT put you in harms way. It only gives a man a roadmap to you. I’ll be discussing this topic in upcoming blogs so stay tuned.:)
I was just dating a woman who didn’t want to open up till she felt safe, while I came in with an open heart. She stood strong that she was right…Well, I lost interest because she was playing it safe and not wanting to get hurt and I was missing the connection and her sharing her feelings. It’s great to hear that you should go for it!
Very thought provoking